A Maia Part 3
by shadowedrose
Summary: Third part to the The Green Book involving Anna, her growth to her full power, and why she is not mentioned in red book, the book the hobbits have recorded the story in. Everyone has magic, let yours grow.
1. A Maia

To get more information on Maiar's, go to the Maiar Page may want to go to it from time to time to get more info on what's going on...

Her past will dictate her future,  
Close up of Anna with her hair whipping in the wind and her face sullenly serious.  
But which should she choose?  
Picture of Saruman aiming his staff to Anna.  
Servitude among the wizards.  
Picture of Aragorn looking lordly talking in private with Anna.  
Alliance with the Men.  
Picture of Legolas looking hurt.  
A home with the Elves.  
Picture of Gandalf rding to a Nazgul with his staff held aloft and a bright flash from it to a Ringwraith. (aka, the greatest picture from the ROTK trailer.)  
Or a power unknown.

You have been waiting  
Dagnir follows close behind Shadowfax, riden by Anna, Gandalf and Pippin on Shadowfax.  
For the end.  
A flying Nazgul stomps towards the ground on top of someone.  
But you never knew  
Anna looks out at the blackened skied battlefield from a high balcony.  
How much of an end  
The eye of Sauron flashes and seems to be hurtling towards you.  
It would be.  
Anna's straight legs and arms that were holding her up suddenly unlock and she crumples onto the stone floor behind the balcony. Gondor soldiers race to her to pick her up.

The Maiar are higher beings from across the Sea. The wizards were only a small group of Maiar that traveled to Middle Earth to defend the creatures of the land against Sauron. They were not allowed to match his power directly and were not allowed to dominate any other creature. Saruman broke the last rule and so was banished from his orginal land from across the Sea.

The Mairar had many ways of influencing the events of Middle-Earth other than the wozards they sent. Since the time the elves came east across the seas to Middle-Earth, they worshippped the Maiars and would sacrifice gifts to them to be in their favor. In this way, a Maia could indeed come to Middle Earth in other ways than by the Sea, and affect the course of Middle-Earth's history...


	2. The Scream in Isengard

Anna stopped at the gates of Isengard, absolutely floored by what she found. He entire land was filled with puddles, the air was devoid of all the smoke produced by the wizard's machines and the only things standing in the entire field were a few trees at certain points looking forebodingly like hidden sentinels. One lay on the ground with a few orc axes in it, but not nearly enough. The clouds floated high alone the destruction, no longer providing protection to anyone.

'What is this?' a voice bellowed above her, 'Another rat come out of the water works?' Anna looked up to see another creature much like the one she met in the forest at Helm's Deep. This one now above her was taller, massive and more full of knots than the talking trees she had first seen. 'I have seen you before, racing past us, in and out of Saruman's abode.' She had seen him as well. He was one of the many tall creatures who had been desecrating the place, the creatures she was supposed to have brought orcs to defeat.

'Well, who is it? Just give us a name at least,' an all too familiar voice demanded from the creature's branches. Out of them, two hobbits stared down at a she-elf on a horse. All of their hearts plummeted to their stomachs.

'Who needs saving now I wonder,' Anna muttered as she stared up at the perfectly fine yet utterly confused young lads.

After Merry would say no more, Pippin continued in his dubious state, 'Anna! Where is Gandalf, Aragorn, the rest of them? Shouldn't they be with you?'

Anna could feel the pressure around her eyes as she stared at these two ghosts, and now what was she going to do? She was right in front of Saruman's tower, in front of his window.

'They are dead as far as I am concerned,' Anna spit. The transformation was incredible. She had been staring at them with the eyes of an old friend, completely unbelieving. After a quick glance to the tower, her shoulders stooped over her saddle and a scowl of an enemy crossed her face.

Before Treebeard could make her, Anna sped her horse to the steps of Orthanc, left him there and raced up the steps as if Treebeard might be at her tail. Seeing she was headed where he wanted her, Treebeard left her alone.

The heavy door opened a crack just to show a dark line of the shadows beyond it. Wormtongue stuck his pale face in the crack and looked out at the frazzled she-elf, looking over her shoulder.

Anna turned back to the door, expecting it open but Wormtongue was planted squarely in her way. 'Let me in, Wormtongue,' Anna warned, her flashing beady eyes catching Wormtongue's ever roaming own.

'Where are the orcs?' he asked simply, almost triumphantly. However, he was not able to hold the door closed for long. He saw her flashing in her eyes, a warning of her turning dangerous, and tried shutting the door on her, slinking away like the spineless serpent he was. Anna pushed the door open and barged in, looking levelly at Wormtongue. He kept his arrogance despite his present situation. 'I didn't think you'd come back if you failed once again. Saruman will be angry to see elves are useless in the evil business.'

Anna winced and covered it up with, 'Only humans call it evil. It's just an order, and it's Saruman's place to reprove me, not yours.'

Wormtongue knew his place. Already countered in strength and words, he knew this battle was lost. Though, he looked with delight over Anna's shoulder. 'I should like to see what Saruman would say to your news.' Wormtongue brushed past her to announce her coming to Saruman. She was left alone and kept her mind away from the meeting by her usual 'looking' around, her hand busy tracing lines of object and folds of cloth.

A call for her boomed behind her. Anna looked over her should where her master waited. Fear rose up in her throat that she tried earnestly to swallow down. She went in; her concentration ion what she had to say kept her on her feet.

'Master, forgive me for I have failed. By the time I came to Helm's Deep, the orcs were all destroyed. The men, they had others that came in from around their kingdom. And--and creatures like those outside were there as well. The Uruk-hai were doomed before I got there. The orcs leader had failed, I could not even give an order for there were none to listen to it.' She said this all rushed and adamantly, her arms waving above her head and behind her in the direction of that battle.

'If you did not give any commands, how did I hear your voice upon the wind?' Saruman said coolly. Anna's eyes widened. 'Oh, yes, not only did I hear your commands, I translated them as well. You did not give the exact orders I gave you. You ordered all the Uruk-hai to retreat--to come here. A rather moving war speech but heavily inaccurate to what I gave you.'

Anna trembled, already feeling his staff's power working up in the round room. A slow realization told her that he frozen state was no longer form fear but from the spell her master put on her limbs.

'I know I did not ever give you those orc words, so I wonder where you received them,' he continued as he stood up from his throne and stepped closer to her. 'Are you working for someone else, perhaps? Gandalf, or in your travels did you happen a visit to Morder? I know you could not have made the words up yourself. Those words couldn't have popped into your head at that very moment,' he said, more to reassure himself than to tell her. He was baffled by her and her channeling of knowledge but would not easily show it. She had done this before, come up with foreign words that fit together perfectly that he had not taught her. Before, he knew she could not have learned it from anyone else because he kept such a strict eye on her. He did not enjoy being made confused and would show this in his torture.

'Please, master. I gave them the commands because there wasn't much left--' A feeble pleas came from Anna, knowing the torture of years before would be nothing to what was to come.

'Silence!' Saruman now right in front of her, gloating at her begging. He thrust his staff at her head.

A scream echoed to the men and others at the Gates of Isengard, seemingly rushing through to the top of Orthanc to spill over the land around it. The men shuddered at what sounded like some sweet-voiced angel having her heart town open slowly and meticulously.

'What creatures does he house in there that would make such a death cry?' Theoden questioned Gandalf.

Gandalf, of course, did not answer directly. 'Let us hope it is no death cry.' Gandalf's hopes were for anything but death and led the way to the steps of Orthanc.


	3. Faked Strength

At the exact moment they met the foot of the stirs, the doors were thrown open and Anna crumbled and rolled down the stairs. She lay writhing on one of the lower steps, clutching her throat with her mouth open wide and her eyes wider. The burning in her chest would not end and that fact brought tears to her eyes. If only she could just die.

'Legolas, take this,' Gandalf said, seeing him about to move forward any way. Gandalf did not want to take any steps toward Saruman that might seem intimidating or at least meant to be intimidating.

Legolas held a powder in his hand. All he could think to do was put it where Anna seemed to be grappling with some invisible thing around her neck. The white powder gave shape to a hand clutching her throat. The men around muttered as Legolas tore off the white hand and it disappeared once it lost contact with the servant.

Anna gave in a sharp breath and gasped at the sky above. Then, all was silent and Anna's chest stopped heaving and failed to rise. Legolas stooped over her but her eye were not seeing him; already they clouded over with the film of unspent tears.

'Sit her up, Legolas,' Gandalf commanded and Legolas followed suit not knowing what was happening to the one in his arms.

'She will not breathe without my command,' Saruman replied surly. 'I have complete control over her and I always did,' he bragged.

Legolas was not listening to the exchange. He rubbed Anna's back as he whispered in vain, 'You have much to do before your end.' The truth of the words seemed to sink into her, giving her strength and will of mind.'

The back underneath Legolas's hand slowly rose and sunk, and rose again. One more shuddering inhale forced her eyes open. While relief flooded all around, except for a mark of surprise upon Saruman's face, Legolas tried bringing her away from all the stares but Anna stayed his hand, using it rather as support than something to be carried upon.

She stood in front of everyone, before Saruman, releasing at last her support. Her face was serene, the tears splaying new light on her fresh face. Her thunderbolt had not been misplaced from the middle of her forehead and now it gleamed in the reflected haze. She stood now with her chin held high and her eyes once more calmly placed on the offender. Her voice rose to meet the wicked wizard head on. 'You are no longer my master. I will serve no one ever again.'

'She reminds you of someone, does she not, Saruman?' Gandalf commented in the background as Saruman and Anna stared at each other. 'Someone from our younger years.' Saruman broke his gaze from Anna to look at Gandlaf. He remembered their years across the sea, before Middle Earth. A time when they were worshipped as Maiar and before being sent to this land to protect its creatures. Things started to connect. But since Anna did not show these tendencies of power all the time, it must be that this girl is possessed by their left behind familiars from years past. But how could that be?


	4. Holes

After she had walked away, daring to give the fallen wizard her back, Anna gave a weak smile to the hobbits as she toppled to the ground and winced as most of her bruises were pinched by the just drying floor.

'Whose side is she on?' Merry screamed incredulously.

'Oh, neither, you silly thing,' Anna responded. After seeing neither drop to happiness, she continued, 'Though, I will help you if you need it. Oh,' and then threw her hands up at them, bringing them closer for a hug. 'I was so worried about you. I am so glad you two are alive.'

Merry pulled himself away. 'You did not show it the first time we saw you. You were--you were evil!'

She kept Pippin at her side as she spoke. 'I had to; I was trying to look like I was still commanded by Saruman.' Then, she added with a pout, 'You do not know how it is like to be a servant of a wizard. They utterly control your every action, watch what you do, and hear what you say, no matter the distance between you. Then, if you try to resist-' she shuddered. Legolas finally understood her dislike for wizard and knew her offer of service would not happen again.

'But you resisted this time, and you won,' Legolas reminded.

'That does not mean anything,' she replied downcast. 'I am not unchanged. I will never make the mistake of alliances again.' Her voice shook.

Saruman then appeared from a balcony above them and tried speaking with all of them. On more than one occasion, Anna interrupted the talks with Saruman, pleading the others not to listen when Saruman would use the Voice and manipulate each group individually, trying to make him seem the innocent one, placing blame constantly on others. Though, by the time Gandalf was done talking with Saruman, the broken wizard was devoid of his keys, staff and dignity. In a fit of anger, Wormtongue threw a round, glass ball out the window. Pippin raced to get it as it rolled to the floor as the rest ducked and spoke of what to do next, if another fit of anger could come from the window.

'Pippin!' Anna cried.' 'What if you give that to me,' she said, trying to mask her intensity of her request as he looked in the globe. She snatched it from his hands and wrapped it in her skirt. Pippin looked down at her in disappointment and anger. Why should he not have a look in it? Was he so distrusted, even more than she was after all those changes in friends?

Gandalf broke off from his conversation when he heard Anna cry out and went over to her. 'What is it you are hiding in you skirts?' he asked.

She looked at him conspiratorially. 'A palantir. The communication between the two towers.' A wave of understanding reached Gandalf. As he coaxed it from Anna into his won robes, Anna gave it up more freely than he thought she would, as if she wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. It was kept hidden as they all left Treebeard to watch over Saruman. They all headed back to Helm's Deep to gather the rest and march back to Edoras. At night they had just reached a little grove of trees and stopped to make camp, the press for time no longer upon their shoulders.

Just after dinner, Gandalf whispered from behind Anna, 'You remember what you said to Saruman about you alliances?' The wizard kept his body from facing her so that the others could not guess they were talking. 'I expect you do not lie.'

'You would do so correctly,' Anna hesitated for she still did not know ho w to address the wizard.

'There are bonds that still need cutting, then, he replied nonchalantly, as if advising Sam to cut back the hedges that would flourish into the window in a season. Where was Sam now? Far away, she supposed as she looked to the dark eastern sky. Hopefully enjoying his two pots, she thought with a smile.

Bonds, what others did she have left? The three that she had traveled with were just a few feet away, talking to a group of Rohirrim captains. She knew how to deny these bonds, though how would face them and deny them to their face was another matter.

She nodded her head, the action caught by the wizard as he left her to walk over there and speak with them privately. At first, her presence was unknown, as was usual with her entrances in the past. 'May I speak to them alone,' Anna asked to the backs of the captains. They turned in surprise but then instantly bowed sand left her. Facing Saruman alone and rejecting him to his face brought a great deal of respect.

They all looked expectantly at her but she focused on Aragorn, raising her chin slightly. 'Lord Aragorn, there is a matter of service to be discussed,' she started. 'I announced to Saruman that all bond were cut and I will stay on that course. I cannot, and you as well, trust any of the actions or words before I was freed from Saruman's hold. Those things were all done for him, for he had control over me then.'

'Not all of it, surely,' Legolas beseeched. Anna just nodded her head, somewhat coldly.

'I do not trust myself to sort out which was my own doings and which were not,' she said coldly, not looking into his eyes. 'So, the serviced I offered you are now over, though I will help you if I can.' She was lucky, she thought, that she had not been ordered to kill one of them in their sleep as Saruman had often had Wormtongue do. She looked up, catching sight of the lost look Legolas gave her. She averted her eyes to the sigh she had been trying to avoid. Her attention on Aragorn again forced her to speak. 'I am no longer a servant. I am my own person.'

Aragorn trusted this statement and saw proof in it as she said the broken wizard's name without trouble. Aragorn saluted her, his hand held out. 'I respect in you decision and will treat you as such.' Anna could already feel the space between herself and the three before her stretch in her chest, a tie broken. Aragorn left her to go to a watch while Gimli went to find a suitable place to sleep. Legolas dragged behind.

'So what you said to me, what you gave to me--it was nothing?' he snapped at her quietly. Anna said nothing but closed her eyes, not wanting to hurt him any more than she already had. 'So be it,' he ended, more sad than angry. The space between herself and the others became a hole.


	5. A Healing Trip In No Time

Anna did not have to pretend to sleep for long. In the middle of the night, a disturbance woke the rest of the camp up bringing all its focus on a hobbit and a globe. Anna caught snatches; Pippin had looked into the glove, his usually curiosity and the spells first calling finally had taken its toll. They had found him lying on his back with the wizard trying to revive him since the hobbits scream had woken all up.

By the time Anna was able to catch up with what had happened, Gandalf had packed all of Pippin's and his things and had Aragon put the hobbit on Shadowfax. Before Gandalf could mount the horse, Anna stepped in front of him. Finally, he would slow this madness enough to know what to do herself. She did not want to be swept into a crowd; she wanted to know exact what she should do.

'I have not the time to inform you personally of the happenings, Anna,' Gandalf warned but Anna only set her shoulder more resolutely.

'You are going to Minis Tirith with Pippin, while Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, the Rohan King and his captain will go to Helm's Deep at daybreak and the rest follow when they can,' she explained stiffly and quickly what she had already observed. 'I need to know where I should go.'

'It is not my duty to tell each individual where they should go,' Gandalf replied hotly. 'Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli will make their way to Minis Tirith when they can. It is time you make you own decisions.'

'And why are you going to Minis Tirith straight away?' Anna asked indignantly.

'Because it is the center battleground for the war and it is the only place safe for Pippin. In a few hours, there will be Nazgul here looking for him. We must flee before they have the chance of meeting.' Gandalf hoped he had smarted Anna's feeling. 'And they have an enormous amount of information within their books, perhaps even ought for you inquisitive mind.'

But Anna was already sold with the safety of Pippin. 'Of course I will be coming.' She looked around for the other hobbit and walked over to him. 'Be safe, Merry,' she said in his ear as she kissed him on the cheek. 'You are strong and have not yet been exposed to Sauron. Use you secrecy as a weapon against him,' and she hoped onto Dagnir, settling herself close to Shadowfax, her hurt arm enduring the pain of use, which was far less than past injuries done to it.

Of they set into the night, faster than Dagnir would have been able to keep up without Anna's words of encouragement. In a way, Anna was glad to put some physical distance between herself and the others which were constantly on her mind. Yet still, the parting was like ripping a bandage off a fresh wound.

When they reached Helm's Deep to inform the others of what was going on, Pippin seemed to be in a fit of sleep and fevers. Anna would catch glimpses of him which only made her more unsteady about his welfare.

She noticed that when a Nazgul screech passed over head and as she pressed herself against a wall so as not to be seen, while the men wilted in fear, Pippin had scurried himself into a corner. Anna had to grab Gandalf's elbow to give him take a break from his orders enough to help Pippin, or he was the one who faced Sauron one on one and who was being hinted. Soft words were given to him and he slept uneasily, still in that corner.

While seeing him sleep there, Anna felt an impulse to go over to him. Drawn to him, she knelt down beside the small hobbit and placed her hand on his cheek. Stroking the cold damp skin, she tried thinking of Hollin, the one place in all of Middle-Earth that she would constantly gravitate to because of its beauty, and tried projecting that image to calm Pippin. Though, suddenly, as her eyes closed, the lands seemed to sweep away, past the Shire, past the Grey Havens, through to the sea. The wind revived and cooled and the sound of the surf calmed as the sight of the twilight reflected on the water gave a sense of balance to the soul.

Anna let her hand go and calmly stood. Pippin could be seen to have stopped shivering. She turned around to see Eowyn busily coming over to Pippin. 'He will not be disturbed,' she said firmly in a deep voice, putting herself between the daughter and the sleeping figure.

'Surely he would want a bed to sleep in,' Eowyn patronized, seeing nothing but an elf with odd ways.

'He will not be disturbed,' she repeated, placing herself closer to the woman, pronouncing her presence onto her and suggesting dangerous tendencies. Eowyn backed away with few mutterings as Anna blinked and had a look of daze to the back of the daughter. Anna took a deep breath and looked behind her. He would not remember it when he woke, but tonight would heal his heart from the Eye of Sauron.

Anna trotted back to Eowyn, asking her to stop. 'Please, it is about the hobbit.' Shaking her head as Eowyn checked over her shoulder, Anna went on. 'Merry, the one we left behind.' She lowered her voice as if they were two jabbering women exchanging new gossip but also slowed her speech to show she was entrusting the other with a secret.

'I do not think the two have ever been apart. They will be lonely bit they are strong. This one here had seen the Eye and the other, he had faced and helped topple Saruman, the very man who would have killed all your people.' She paused. 'Please, just take care of Merry when e comes. Let him forget his loneliness.'

Eowyn's face softened as Anna left her, leaving the shield maiden to think again on the she-elf.


	6. Carrying More

During the nights of endless racing, Gandalf would explain Minis Tirith and its gates in the distance. In the times Gandalf was not answering Pippin's questions or staying silent to think, which was only when Pippin was asleep, Gandalf would speak with Anna. At those times, Anna would bring Dagnir close to Shadowfax and listen though the conversations were usually odd.

'It is good you are coming to Minis Tirith with us,' Gandalf spoke after a few minutes of silence. 'The House of Denethor has a Treasury of Knowledge within its many scrolls and books.'

'What would I want form books and scrolls?' Anna asked.

'You do know how to read, do you not?' Gandalf returned, too used to those who were always willing to learn. Anna was the first he met where her knowledge from Saruman actually hurt her and bonded her to him.

'Yes, I do. I learned from my- from Saruman to read and write messages,' she replied, though whether to create her own to her master or to intercept and change them she did not specify. 'That was before I learned from Radaghast the tongue of the animals and how to use them to transmit messages.'

'Yes, well, I think you will find out a little about yourself in those books if you look hard enough.'

'In the books of men?' she asked, unbelieving.

'Remember what Aragorn said: Anna was a legend among the Dunedain. And the books are not just of the men. Many an elf community had donated its records to the Men before e leaving for the Grey Heavens.' Seeing as how Anna would have a hard time finding a lead to follow as broad as all the elves that already left to the Grey Havens, Gandalf added, 'Do you ever wonder why you always gravitate to Hollin, why the Dwarves, no matter how many other appearances you gave throughout Middle-Earth, would call you Holly?'

'I would find myself in Hollin. I never remember going there. There and south, toward Mordor. Two places I would go bit not know why,' she muttered into the wind, though the wizard was not hard of hearing.

'Losses of consciousness,' Gandalf thought to himself as if he had read it somewhere before.

'But of elves I would find nothing except the ramblings of some elf who heard or saw things,' Anna spurted out. 'I am as a part of elves as I am of Men. I do not have the arrogance of Men and I do not have the beauty of elves therefore I am neither,' she stated, seeing herself as a sage to being an outsider.

'The arrogance you say is missing has yet to be determined as gone,' Gandalf replied with a chuckle. Then, he looked to her seriously with sincerity in his face. 'You carry more on you shoulders than most elves, not less.'

Anna looked at him, too and the moment of eye contact held more dialogue than all that they had spoken before. A million questions floated in her head including ones that Gandalf had just created and said aloud along with questions she had had for years in her hours alone, question not even Saruman could answer. All Gandalf would reply through his merry eyes was that she would find it all out soon enough and to wait for his signal to use what she found.

It was then that Pippin awoke, and though he barely moved and did not speak, they both knew he was not sleeping anymore but looking across the plains out to the center city of Gondor. Their conversations usually died when Pippin was awake and this one was no different. Pippin awoke with no further knowledge on Anna or Gandalf and their interaction.


	7. Interview with a Steward

Only a few days later, they were at, they were at the first gate of Minis Tirith. As if carved from the mountain, the White City gleamed high above them, every wall and window polished and shone. It was made of seven levels and each level was surrounded by a fence. Climbing high, Men made their own mountain among the end of the mountain range.

The guards stopped them at the first gate and could even get into the City. Gandalf looked indignantly down at them from atop Shadowfax. 'I have traveled here many times before. You know I have the knowledge of all the passwords, now make way.'

Yet still, they barred the way. 'Yea, truly, we know you, Mithrandir,' said the leader of the guards, 'and you know the pass-words of the Seven Gates and are free to go forward. But we do not know your companions.' With this he gave a dubious look to Anna and the small bundle in front of Gandalf. 'We wish for no strangers unless they be mighty men of arms in whose faith and help we can trust.'

Anna humphed at this and shot a look with crossed arms to Gandalf. She did not endure the pain of holding reins in broken and injured hands to sit outside the gates and be called a rat again.

Gandalf addressed Anna's presence first since she was the one awake enough to hear what was said. 'I will bring them both to Denethor and prove their worth. Anna, right here, has combated Saruman alone whereas this Halfling before me has faced many a foe that would make Men twice his size quiver with inaction while he stood valiantly and fought.'

Now fully awake, Pippin started and shifted in his seat. 'Do not let this old man fool you. I have done nothing more than what would be expected of someone put in my position.'

'Many a good-doer has said nothing more,' the soldier commented contemplatively. He regarded the hobbit as higher than himself because he called a great wizard and advisor an old man.

'And yet you treat us like unwanted beggars at you doorstep,' Anna spat at them. 'Even beggars with their backs toward red evil would be allowed admittance if only to gain slight protection. We ask only--'

'To see your king. Let him judge Mithrandir and his friends,' Gandalf interrupted giving Anna a warning look which she shrugged off. The soldiers too a last speculative look at the girl and then back at Gandalf, a hero they had been waiting for to pick them out of the tension of prewar preparations. They opened the gates and were let through all the way to the Citadel. On the way there, Gandalf spoke to Anna without letting passerby know they were talking. 'Next time, I advise you to hold your tongue,' he muttered under his breath. 'They king may not be so easily convinced after you spew more of your unorthodox theories. Remember, also, the Steward can see what is passing in the minds of men, even of those that dwell far off. It is difficult to deceive him, and dangerous to try.'

Anna stayed her tongue and her fingers as they walked past two guards across the last gate, their mithril helms shining as brightly as the rest of the white city. 'The same with you, Pippin. It is bad enough to bring the king news of his deceased heir. Do not speak overmuch of the Company you have traveled with or the coming of the one who will, if he comes, claim the kingship.'

'Kingship?' Pippin asked in his usual dazed and confused way.

'Yes,' said Gandalf. 'If you have walked all these days with closed ears and mind asleep, wake up now!' He then rapped on the door with his staff.

'Strider,' Anna whispered for Pippin to realize. She had often heard Sam call the man by that name.

The doors opened and the hall seemed void of any presence except for the stone statues lined on either side of them. Looking at them and being reminded of the Arganoth statues, Anna could just imagine the stories Aragorn would have to tell about each of their life histories.

Gandalf led the way down the stone hall and at the end was seen a huge throne though without any king in its seat. On its side, a smaller, less adorned seat held a bent man. Not frail or outrageously old, but bent over a broken horn in his lap filled with grief. Gandalf was subtly reminded of the King of Rohan, Theoden. Both had lost sons, both had lost heirs. They were both straining with the weight of time, having to pull through a bit further for lack of heirs to the throne. Gandalf could just imagine the loving and miserable company created if the two men met.

'Gandalf Stormcrow. Now I know the end is near and the war is upon us,' Denethor spoke, standing and placing the broken horn on his throne.

'Truly, for I have ridden on the wings of the storm,' Gandalf replied. 'I bring to you two of my companions. This is Anna of the Barrow Downs,' he introduced as she tried vainly to curtsy for the Steward and hide her face. The sadness upon her visage would stir anger and pride in the king for she saw a great man, broken just before they got there. His shrewd, clever eyes would catch it though, after his moment of wonder. 'She is also called Wanderlust,' Gandalf added.

'So, she is not dead. And the legends, they are one in the same,' the Steward said, contemplatively. 'You do look how they describe you, give or take a few years of stretching the tales.' However, he instantly dismissed her from his view and asked, 'Who is this one?'

'A hobbit. The guards out back called me a Halfling. My name is Peregrin Took, and he gave a low bow, though his eyes went right back to the horn. 'That looks much like the horn of Boromir.' With that, he and Denethor wrapped themselves in a conversation of the son and his brave deeds and valiant fall. The Steward sent for a table, chairs and food and they all sat listening to the useless conversation of the past. Anna ate hungrily, learning she could not say anything if her mouth was full. Gandalf brooded at Denethor's side, quite forgotten by the Steward.

Anna could hear Gandalf's impatience in his exhales and waiting muscles. She gave him a tentative look but only in time t see him jump on Denethor. 'Confound it, you keep on talking about the past, the future shadow will soon be upon you.'

'Certainly,' Denethor said coldly. 'We must get down to business. Tell me what news you bring us of the disaster that is to come. I would be surprised if you knowledge is anything new to me.'

At the word knowledge, Anna was reminded of the conversations with Gandalf as they traveled to Minis Tirith. She could picture the dark cave of a room just below them filled with the information she had been yearning for ever since she was conscious of her elvish background.

She jumped up from the table. 'I am sorry your lordship but I have heard and know of the thing Gandalf will describe to you. If you allow it, I will be going,' and she took a step to leave, her hand trailing of the table just as Denethor stopped her.

'Where will you be leaving to?' he asked abruptly.

Anna hesitated. 'I have heard that I am a legend in your culture. I wish to read what you have all said about me.' She understood Denethor shrewd look as Gandalf and Pippin just looked on. 'I wish to learn more about myself and my past. I had heard your Treasury holds much knowledge that might help me.'

After a moment of hard eye contact, Denethor let her go. 'Very well, Anna. Be careful with the records of the Wars of Angmar; they may still upset you. Look for references to Tom Bombadil. Tales mention him as the original giver in your life as he gave you to the Men to understand Elves.'

Anna nodded and left, her hair whipping behind her at her quick exit.


	8. The Truth of the Past

Anna opened the many books and scrolls with her eyes, unlocking their secrets with her mind. Each one held information that would not have been linked together if not for Anna's scanning fingers. Wanderlust, Oirebian, Anna, so many names, so many histories. She had not realized she had lived so many years until they were all written. Her elvish immortality made the years feel like months but the age started to grow on her now.

She made her way back to the Elves, before she was Oirebian. She perused the mere facts of Elves, the distinctions between the groups, hoping hers was still here in Middle Earth. The blonde, blue eyed elves of Mirkwood reminded her of Legolas. The ones mentioned to have fair eyes and fair hair made her connect them to Galadriel and the elves surrounding her in Lothlorien. Anna had seen the other elves, the dark-haired, royal eyes ones, all with much variety to them, around the lands but she never knew of their home in Middle Earth. These were the ones left from the elves who left Hollin. Once Celebrimbor had fallen in one of the many battles against Sauron, the elves he had once led split and went to the Grey Havens or followed Elrond to Rivendell.

It was the last type of elf that had caught her eye in the mirror once. Odd colored eyes, deep and dark but colorful, either amber or green, much like the forest green found in her own orbs. These elves were born without most of the traits found in their family. One, in particular, was born to Celebrimbor. He was fair haired, as are all royals of the Hollin elves while the others were dark like Elrond. Anna looked at her own hair, a dusty, light brown, a perfect in between, just enough to drive a girl trying to find her past insane. This one off changeling found under Celebrimbor was not only odd in appearance. Anna found that the elves took this elf as a sign. They sacrificed her to the Maiar, the higher beings found across the sea. But elves scarification does not consist of killing. The Maiar cannot use a corpse. A set of rituals, prayers, song and feast and the deed was done. If ever they needed to use her in any way to better the events on Middle Earth, they were free to do so. Without the Hollin elves knowing at the time, they had sacrificed their last heir of Celebrimbor, the last elf of their tribe to be born in Middle Earth.

Just after she was born and sacrificed, Celebrimbor went to war against one of Sauron's allies and died in the battle that would also close the gate of Moria. The elves left, the royalty going to the Grey Havens with the changeling child.

The last record of these royalties would tell of them leaving the child in a makeshift boat and letting it drift down the last river they passed before reaching the Grey Havens.

Why, oh why did they leave me, drop me as soon as they could? It was a question that racked her head ever since knowing her difference between herself and Men. Even now, it rang one last time, finishing off with an answer. She still had things to do in Middle Earth; the Maiar had not yet used their gift and her family would not take the gift back and render it useless. They had given her up long before their journey. Hence, her name tag: Anna, a gift. Anna translated from elvish meant 'a gift.' It was also impossible to ignore the irony of that name coming back to her when no one could even catch sight of her face. The Giver, a name given to her by the elves which she had not spent too much time considering the Dwarves called her The Taker. It all balanced out, as did her trades.

The last document from her family about her noted her given name. As they let her cradle rock down the Branduin or Brandywine River, they noticed the rain clouds that had been following them backed away, inland, to power its water on other creatures. It was then they knew the Maia who had accepted their gift and would keep her safe and so named the elf-child after her, Ilmare, the protector of the stars, who protected them with bolts of light and fire that struck the earth. It was apparent and clear, as was the sky above the child.

Anna left the room, utterly numb and dazed. The dim light in that room made her eyes sting when she left and met the lights within the houses but she did not blink or rub them. Without realizing it, a Gondor soldier had guided her to the small cabin Pippin was dropped off at by Gandalf. She sat on her bed and gazed in front of her. Pippin was afraid to ask what she had found and before he could find the words, she had laid down, eyes staring at the ceiling.

More than ever, Pippin felt a hole of loneliness, especially in a room with someone who was not there and not willing to give him the time of day. He missed Merry's listening ear and comforting strength' Over in Rohan, Merry was missing Pippin's unquenchable cheerfulness.


	9. Explanation from a Maiar

Anna awoke to an empty, dark room. Pippin had been taken by Gandalf as they talked in hushed voices to avoid waking Anna. Pippin had told Gandalf how late she had gone to bed the night before but did not mention the hollowed states she came in. They left her to sleep the morning away and wake thinking it was still night. But she smelled the air and it warned her of a coming storm and carried with it the dry taste of ash.

She moved without knowing she was moving, somehow finding Gandalf after his escapade to burn the beacons. The unnatural darkness on the day, smothering the city in its atmosphere, plus what was happening inside her made her distant. Quite unusual actually when, most of the time, she would be curiously embedded in others business.

She stopped short in front of the wizard. 'Gandalf, what are you doing here?' Ah, the old Anna.

'Nothing,' he huffed. 'Just,' he pointed to the beacon on the mountains, 'just looking at the sights.' Now he turned to her. 'And how is dear Anna doing?'

She looked at him blankly. Never had she realized she was the same height as the dear wizard until now when she looked straight into his eyes. He had always seemed taller before, or she had pictured herself smaller before. 'She is tired,' a deep voice emitted from her mouth, 'and scared.'

She blinked and her pulse raced. 'Gandalf!' Anna reached out a hand for him but found no grasp, nor did she feel the hold around her as she was forced to sit at a bench. Gandalf could see the light in her eyes burning and receding at a faster pace now. Her eyes did not see.

'What did you find? What did you see?' Gandalf asked her.

'I am not that weird elf.'

'The odd elf child?'

'Yes, that, from Hollin. I can not be that girl.' She stood, not being able to sit still because of nervousness. 'She was from a group of dark hair, black hair. Even the higher ones had blonde hair, not brown,' she insisted as she pulled at her own hair.

'Why do you think you keep finding yourself in Hollin?' Gandalf tried showing her as she paced in front of him. 'You are attracted always to your homeland, are you not?'

'But I also find myself near Mordor as well,' she added, quickly getting over the fact that Gandalf knew her stays at Hollin and threw it to the Dwarves' legend on her.

'That is about another matter that we will get to soon enough,' Gandalf replied not wanting to scare her just yet. She looked tense enough. 'And as for your hair, yes, your hair is not as dark as the others but that is the blessing of having a father that is one of the high elves.' Anna looked at him. 'Yes, I was there on your birth day. The politics around your family had not stopped them giving the last elf born of that tribe in Middle-Earth the ceremony she needed.'

As the thought of that girl being her, she cracked again. 'How could they do that to me? How could they just leave me here?'

'To take care of this earth,' Gandalf interrupted. 'To not take away the gift to the Maiar.'

'Why, why would they do that? It was not my decision!' She stood still in front of the wizard. 'Gandalf, she is taking over my body and my voice. I have no control!'

As she rubbed her arms to ward the chill coming to her form fear rather than from a breeze. 'I know,' he said in a most understanding tone. 'It reminds you of when Saruman controlled your body.' This time, Anna did not need to look up. 'That was a mistake. Ilmare was setting you to be open for her to take control. She did not know Saruman had turned and would take advantage of the situation.' He paused. 'She has made you cautious now and for goof reason, too. It is time now, though, and I can assure you, you are in good hands this time.' Anna's pacing continued and Gandalf followed her with his eyes. 'She is more like you than you think. The day you parted from your family, she had protected you and still does. In that way, she has also imparted some of her traits unto you. More times than not, actually, you remind me of her at times, when I know you were not in her control.'

Finally, Ann sat next to Gandalf and a ragged sigh escaped her lips. Gandalf looked up into the black clouded sky blocking out the sun, setting the city in a perpetual twilight. 'Odd weather we are having,' Gandalf said in his usual humor most often found with the hobbits, and there, Pippin was, just escaping in the opposite direction from the rest of the crows. The conversation sounded like just the hobbit conversation he would want to listen in on though when he looked at the two looking out onto the blackened world, he was reminded of all they knew of it because of their travels and in other ways as well. Pippin wondered to himself in what far place and time did Gandalf really come from, for also, the strange gaze of Anna made him think her mind was there as well.

'Nay,' Anna added and Gandalf knew what was coming. 'This is not weather of the world. This is some device of his malice; some broil of fume from the Mountain of Fire that he sends to darken hearts and stars.' Her voice was a little deeper but Gandalf could tell little power was behind any of the words.

'Do you know,' said Gandalf, 'what Ilmare protected? She was the Maiar who protected the stars, through some system of weather and lightning that I never truly understood.' He looked over to her. 'That was what proved to me who had been protecting you all this time. Your mood often times was reflected through to the skies and its ways of crying and shouting.' He looked ahead again. 'I would only hope she has time to stop the stars from ever lighting this Middle-earth again as well as protecting its children.'

Pippin was thoroughly confused as to how such an innocent comment had turned morbid in tone, but in true hobbit fashion, he brought his eyes back down to something at the first gate. 'What is happening down there?'

'The Nazgul,' Gandalf uttered to himself. A bone chilling screech shattered through the air. 'Come on, Pippin.'

By the time Anna could place the recognition of the screech to a memory, she was following Gandalf into the stables. As he headed to Shadowfax, she opened the gate to her own horse.

Slam! 'You are not coming with me,' Gandalf commanded as he removed his hand from the gate.

'You cannot keep me here while the little one is allowed to go, old man,' she responded.

'I can and I will. Pippin needs to go with me so I can keep an eye on him. I cannot keep an eye on two separate horses and their riders.' Anna gave him a smoldering look. 'Wait at the front gate, keep the rest calmed.' She left but only a few minutes later, Gandalf overtook her and she had to run the rest of the way behind him.

It was the light form Gandalf's robes, the hope coming from his upraised staff that the black creatures left and veered away from. They fled away even as Anna still hoped to get closer to them, but they were gone now, only for now.


	10. The Nazgul

The only way Anna helped ease others fears was by challenging Gandalf as he came in with her gripes on not being allowed to go with him. Her boldness made the men laugh at her but also raise their chests a little higher.

Right after Faramir was done telling Gandalf the status on Frodo and Sam, Anna was in the wizard's face. 'You can go out there, with Pippin, but I am not allowed? I have business to settle with that black monster!'

'As I'm sure many others do as well,' Gandalf cast her aside and jumped off Shadowfax.'

'What, dear maiden, is your experience with the Nazgul?' Faramir asked. Even with her hair being blown away from her elf ears, she was still being called a maiden.

'My experience is with the Lord of the Nazgul, the Black Captain which few stand to even the rumor of his coming. They quail and weep at his scream; even the stout of heart can stand, but only stand, and do nothing else. Even his own folk, his own slaves fear him. Yet my experience was long ago, when he was the King of Angmar and his people came terrorizing the folk west of the mountains, men of elder lineage than you.

'I was but a child,' she defended, before going on. 'So I stood and then ran, but not fast enough to outrun the heads rolling on the road, chopped off from the necks of my kinsmen.' She paused in remembering the men. 'They were noble and a great race of men,' she said, as if the men surrounding her were less.

'Watch your choice of words. You are speaking with the Steward's son,' Gandalf said sternly.

Anna took a moment to look into Faramir's face. 'Forgive me, your lordship.'

Ever a gentleman and a kind ruler, Farmair saw through the harshness and coldness of her words to the anger of not being able to fight and receive revenge for her kinsmen. He dismissed her apology. 'You name, may I ask,' he said.

'There are not many elves within your Man legends. I'm sure you can figure it out,' she retaliated, sick of the ignoring of the odd image of her ears.

'Anna!' Gandalf scolded. He huffed but still there was silence. 'Tell him you name,' Gandalf guided Anna.

A look to the wizard and then another to Faramir and she lowered her eyes. 'I am Anna,' adding a curtsy as well which Pippin was quite impressed with.

Faramir nodded and Anna took it as permission to leave. 'Tell me, Anna,' Faramir called to her and she stopped and turned. 'You encounter with the Nazgul was very close and yet you survived. Do you have any advice for the rest of us?'

Anna's face stayed hard but unreadable. 'Stuff your ears,' and as she walked away, 'for none hear their screams and live without fear.'


	11. And It Begins

Faramir left his father's courts just as Anna walked to the doors. 'Your lordship, where are you going?' she asked after him for he had walked right past her.

'I am going to Osgiliath to regain the city,' he replied. Anna knew the city.

'They will be coming to Minis Tirith soon enough. You do not need to go there,' she beseeched, and Faramir turned. 'What would you gain?'

'More time for Minis Tirith. The respect of Gondor and a father,' Faramir also let slip, figuring her position was not too high and her alliance could not be with Denethor if she kept company with the wizard.

'But there are Mordor orcs there. You know the impossibilities of regaining an already defended post,' she tried scaring into him.

Faramir smiled. 'Gandalf commented on you gift of story weaving.' Seeing her face drop to a scowl, he tried to regain her favor. 'Not in that your stories are untrue, but in the choosing of words to implant the same fear you had once felt,' Faramir hinted at the Nazgul story that introduced the two to each other. 'Sometimes fear can hurt you or help you. The Nazgul scream, it can remind you of all its evil.'

'Or warn you that it is coming,' she said as she caught on. He gave her a wink and walked away, vanishing like an epic hero.

Anna walked back to the doors of Denethor's hall and leaned against the wall next to them. The shadow of Mordor would have to be made of bats if it wanted to block out the brilliance on the stones of Minis Tirith.

Soon after Pippin's song, he was dismissed by the Steward, rather harshly if you asked the hobbit. Once Pippin closed the door behind him, out popped Anna from her post outside.

'Pippin, was that you?' she asked for she had also heard his song.

'Was what me?' Pippin asked confusedly.

It seemed guarding Pippin from the worst was too late for the pain felt in the song was more than a simple bard's experiences. 'Nothing,' Anna replied.

'Is there any news of Faramir's company?' Pippin questioned. Anna looked in the direction of the hobbit's gaz, out and beyond the walls of Minis Tirith. 

'No,' she said softly. 'Come, a little further down and we may see something.' Anna led him down a little ways until they reached a balcony that looked out to Mordor, level with the sunrise, if it ever came again. At Osgiliath, all was quiet; whatever had happened, it was over now. It was too far out to discern the dead, or even to see if there were any.

'What is down there?' Pippin pointed to a slowly trotting misshapen figure.

Anna gasped. 'Open the gate!' she screamed and ran down to the lower levels. 'Open the gate!' The order was passed on and slowly, it opened.

In walked Faramir's horse, with Faramir being dragged. Through the open door, a vast mass of a black army headed its way to Minis Tirith.

'Close the gate!' some captain bellowed.

The city set itself for the battle it had been waiting for since the shadow begun to grow. Behind the army, the darkness grew and spread across the battlefield as the orcs stopped and set their contraptions to order.

'Release the prisoners,' an orc growled in glee. Up, over the orcs' heads, over the gate and against the soldiers' shields dropped round objects. They smashed upon the streets and hit the men like soft mangoes. When they looked down, they recognized the faces as those who had gone out to retake Osgiliath.

Then, the stones of fire came over the gates, sending general chaos to the city. Platforms rose bands of orcs over the gates and into the city as Gandalf roared orders to stand ground while the Nazgul shrieked overhead. Suddenly, Gandalf was forced to kill an orc coming at Pippin. One after another came for the hobbit. 'Pippin! This is no place for a small hobbit!' Gandalf cried above the roar of the war.

Pippin slashed with his drawn sword at an orc behind Gandalf. They both smiled. 'Never say a hobbit's not worth his size,' Gandalf muttered. 'Now get yourself to the Steward. Ilmare!'

At this, the girl came up from behind Pippin. Where she was before then, no one could tell.

'Escort Mater Peregrin to the Steward,' Gandalf finished and returned to command the Gondorian forces.

Pippin ran ahead as Anna followed until Pippin muttered, 'Wait,' and stopped on a dime. Turning, he continued, 'Gandalf called you Ilmare. That is not your name. Is it?'

Anna waited a moment, trying to recall back the scene. There was so much going on, she just responded, without even thinking. 'How am I supposed to know?' She walked past him. 'Take the rear, you are the one with a sword.' In that way, they reached the Steward just as he set Faramir's train to leave to their tombs.


	12. The Battle at Minis Tirith

Once Anna and Pippin were in view of the son and father, Anna left the hobbit with them. She sneaked her way, half-consciously, to the balcony where she and Pippin had seen Faramir and the coming army. It was pure black now with only hints of movement and a horizon.

She stopped paying attention to the laden moans of Denethor above her or the battering ram's mouth of fire below. Every creature seemed to be silent and moving at a high speed, as fast as the wind blowing her hair back from her face. The wind! It was coming from the south with a taste of the sea upon it. It was a chance of change.

Beyond all was Mordor, a name and a myth, much like herself. Long had the realm of Mordor been nothing more than a childhood name of evil and now, as legends walked the earth by the name of Anna and Aragorn, so had the broiling of Mordor come out of its lands to show its reality and terror to those born to see such times.

Now, straight in front of her, somewhere within that land, Orodruin, the volcano of Mordor, was belching this Shadow that now encroached upon Gondor. Up it rose from its cone creating a pillar to the great blackness that was the ceiling that covered the sun.

In so many ways, Anna wished she was everywhere at once. Something told her she was supposed to be here but then another voice, an ever-shrinking voice, told her she should have stayed with Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas. Though now they were probably headed to the Paths of the Dead as she had heard Gandalf and Pippin discuss, to what purpose, she could not guess. She would not be able to handle that adventure. She had not ever traveled back to the Downs, her past home that had now become a ghost-infested graveyard. She never went there for fear of those ghosts and yet those ghosts she had once known. The Paths of the Dead contained spirits she could never counteract in physicality or in emotions.

But they were far from there by now, she was sure. Where they were, only the Maiars knew, along with the whereabouts of Frodo and Sam. She should be with them, she thought, keeping them safe. With her thoughts bent on them, she realized they must be under that shadow somewhere, without an ounce of light, for it was growing dark now.

It was fairly into the night that the battle continued. Beneath her, the sounds of clashing metal, screeches from the Nazgul and screams were dimmed and the air around her was silent. A breath or chant escaped from her lips:  
Above all shadows rides the Sun  
And Stars for ever dwell:  
I will not say the Day is done,  
Nor bid the Stars farewell.

A last, tear-strewn look into the clouds above and then she shut her eyes. Those people needed her, every people, in every corner of the land. Even the scream from the Nazgul could not sway her realization.

'Dear Maiar,' she prayed, though not truly knowing the complete meaning these words would conjure,  
'Make me an instrument of you peace.  
Where there is doubt let me sow faith,  
Where there is despair, hope,  
Where there is sadness, joy,  
And where there is darkness, light.'

She opened her eyes, but Anna did not see. Anna was gone, and Ilmare was already seeking the Lidless Eye out. Finally, their minds met as each looked out upon the battle, and Sauron laughed. He knew the Maiar could not directly attack him and saw Ilmare's power being wasted. She fought off the horrible images of the war-strewn world, the black paintings of hope lost. She wanted to show him that a shadow can only cover the constant light of the sun and stars. She wanted him to know that his magic was but illusionary at best and her magic was among the stars, never to be harmed and never to be touched.

A lightning bolt shattered the clouds with its light. Through the hole it had pierced in the clouds, a star shone. It was the star that Sam caught a sight of alt he way in Mordor. The star that renewed his hope and set straight that he was fighting for a tomorrow, maybe not for himself, but for the little hobbits, way out in the Shire.

Just on the horizon the dawn showed itself and flashed on the shields of Rohan. In they rode, down the hill, into the Mordor army, in all the glory of a new-born sun.

Soon enough, the battle would continue, the oliphaunts would stomp out recklessly, and the sun would rise above the shadow, providing no more light for the soldiers, dead and alive.

Ilmare continued her fight with Sauron's show of power. The tenuous and ongoing fight seemed to go by in a flash though hours may have passed, for battle of the mind cannot always be as interesting as those of the ground. Only two are involved in the former where many lives will fall with great and horrid stories attached to each in the latter. But many of these lives were relying on Ilmare.

Finally, the clouds broke and darkness was exchanged with light. Lo and behold where this light hit but on phantom ships riding down the Anduin. Gondorians and Rohirrim made retreats to the city on seeing the black sails but Ilmare laughed, not loud and clear, but quiet and to herself, much as Anna had done in the confines of her disguising branches in Hollin or any other forest.

She laughed because as the light shone and broadened, it enveloped the ships and the standard broke, displayed in the wind. A banner of Gondor's white Tree heralded the Men and together, from opposite fronts, Gondorians, Rohirrim and the Fighting Dead ran straight into their enemies.


	13. Ilmare

By the time the battle was over eyes were forced open. She would have been left for dead if she was not so high above the actual fighting.

A green figure leaned over her.' His clothes, his eyes, even his skin, were unmistakably green. It glowed and- wait- she was able to se right through him!' At this, she sat up but the ghost was already floating back down to Aragorn. 'Confound the creatures mortals create. They never want to let go of their dead,' she muttered.

Theoden and Eowyn's bodies were carried to the gate of the reclaimed city. Their procession was led to the Healing Houses, and then to the Citadel to place Theoden King's body in honor.

On the way, Gandalf and Pippin caught up with them and then Ilmare came as well. Leaning heavily on a walking stick she coaxed a soldier to give to her, she stopped in front of the wizard. The two looked at each other for some time as the rest of the procession slowly passed. A twinkle creased the happy eyes of Gandalf while a light seemed to penetrate all they saw in Ilmare's eyes.

Ilmare turned her gaze to the procession and what they carried. 'He is dead then,' she said, low and quietly and looked back to Gandalf. 'Theoden king is gone.' Gandalf nodded his head as Pippin though of what this might mean to Merry.

'Where's Merry?' Pippin asked. He was not in the procession though Gandalf was sure he was inside the city; Merry must have gotten lost while muddled in his own thoughts. While Pippin went in search, the grayness poured down on the city, purging it of the battle, but also reflecting the mood that would not show. To Merry, who sat on some stoop, it seemed like all the world for Theoden.

In the grey mist of tears, Gandalf remarked to Ilmare, 'Darkness is passing.'

'But it still lies heavy on the City,' she added, remarking on all the dead kings and soldiers in that single day.

Again, the wizard nodded. 'How did it come that you needed a support,' he said, motioning to the stick in her hand. Almost half the height of a wizard's staff, Gandalf knew it held no power except strength for weak knees.

The Maiar noticed a slight smirk from the wizard as he pointed out the similarity between the two. 'Just a nasty run-in with shadow, old man,' she replied with a smile imprinted on her face. Gandalf knew of her bitter struggle with Sauron given all the sign he saw before him. The weariness that was slow to pass and an aging beyond her time, though in the case of this elf, it probably had helped her grow into her current age. However, the gray pallor to her face was less comforting; she had seen a fear to which most would bow.

When Merry and Eowyn had been brought to the Healing Houses, the shower had stopped. Long hours did the she-elf stay by each bed but she had not the skill to lift the darkness on their minds and bodies. At a point, Gandalf came into Merry's room as the elf sat beside him.

'They have muttered much in their nightmares, Eowyn and Merry. Armies of the Enemy seem to be embracing the entire land. But there is some truth in the dreams,' she told Gandalf. 'Eowyn cries out for Rohan on a front the Riders had left and yet she does not know of Merry's worries for the Ents fighting the orcs just coming into the Rohan kingdom.' Then, she got up, retrieving a fresh towel for the next bit was hard to say for one just realizing her immortality.

'I also heard Eowyn's bitter tongue remark, 'So the elves are not so immune to death.' The only use I can get from that is that there are battles against the elves as well.'

Gandalf shook his head. 'He is very close to dividing us all. Attacking us on all front, elves, men, making the kings hard put to send away their defenses to ally another.' Gandalf stooped over Merry and caressed his brow. Long had he been at work trying his hand at healing though he knew the one person able to do it. 'It is no use. We must have him come here.' Both knew he spoke of Aragorn, the one who did not want to risk taking over the kingdom just yet. 'Are you coming? Legolas is there.'

'What do I care?' she replied.

Gandalf took a second look at her. The bitterness toward Eowyn had made the wizard think Anna had control but then again... 'Ilmare, you must let her have her life back. Your battle is done-'

'But not finished,' she interjected strongly as she stood from beside Merry. 'If it was finished, I would have brought both myself and her away West to the other land.'

'You would have killed her?' Gandalf shouted. 'Of all the selfish things- You may think she lived solely for your purpose but she has created her own purposes as well.'

'What does she have that I do not, that I cannot give her?'

'Friends, love, and a future.'

'I give her a present that others dream of but never appreciate when they come upon it,' she bellowed.

'She is not yours alone. She was given to all the Maiars.'

'The Maiars who would have let her die!'

'It is better for her to die as a child then to go through the ups and downs of life only to have it end in someone else's hands!'

Ilmare huffed. She could not counteract a reminder of what could have happened with Saruman and Anna.

'She has more control over you than you would like to admit,' Gandalf commented as the elf looked straight at him. 'Why are you lingering around the sick? You know you do not have the hand for healing.'

'I thought I could help them, learn something from them.'

'But why Merry and Eowyn? You have not spent much time with any of the others.' Ilmare did not answer. 'Anna had created a relationship with the two, however good or bad they might have been. She is attached here.'

Ilmare exhaled as Gandalf left her to seek Aragorn. She uncrossed her arms, no longer having anyone with whom to be cross.


End file.
